Month: February 2013

the squirrel and the boss

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The time the squirrel peed on my boss…

Its time for a fun story. So….back when I was working my first full time job out of college, I had a gorgeous black lab. she was on a long chain in the back yard that encompassed a tree. Well, there was an annoying squirrel that would drop acorns on the dog while she was sleeping. It was quite hilarious really. Poor Lanie would move around trying to get comfy in the shade (b/c we live in Texas!) and the squirrel would move around on the branches and drop acorns on her. Who knew squirrels could be so silly?! Oh, that was only the beginning. Apparently, the acorn dropper had a baby, which one day fell out of the tree. This day was a RAINY day and I looked out the window to see the dog with something alive in her mouth so I ran out to “save” it from her clutches and discovered it to be a baby squirrel!! This squirrel was big enough that it had all its hair (to the cute stage) but small enough it couldn’t care for itself. So I wrapped it in a towel and it eventually woke up and “attached” itself to me! When it stopped raining, I put the baby back on the tree…thinking it would run up to mommy, but no such luck. hhmmm…research time! So I found out what it could eat, how to care for it, and that it was illegal to keep it. So I found a reserve about an hour away that could take it, but I couldn’t get there for about a week, so I just kept the squirrel with me until then.

And when I say I kept the squirrel with me, I mean that the squirrel would not leave my body. It climbed up on my shoulder to perch, went everywhere with me, slept on my stomach at night, curled up in the curve of my back while I drove, ate out of my hand, went with me everywhere. I think one of the best moments was when I drove thru to get BBQ one night and the lady about fell over when I pulled up to the window with the squirrel on my shoulder, lol!

Anyway, so as life goes, I had to go to work. desk job. and so did the squirrel. And things went generally well. minor distractions. I had a little bottle from the vet I would feed it with and some peeled/diced grapes (yea, try doing that!). One day my boss came to show me something at my desk and while he was sitting in my chair the squirrel leaped onto his back. He thought it was kind of cute, for like a minute, until he started feeling something warm on his back. Oh yes, the squirrel relieved itself on the dry-cleaned finely pressed fancy shirt back of my boss!!

Yea, that was one of the best/worst days of my job!!! Overall, one of the coolest weeks ever.

a better question

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I get one question a lot: how’s your mom doing?

The other day, a dear friend asked me this question again. The same question that everyone asks. And even though I have answered this question many times and many ways, with varying degrees of honesty and vulnerability or vagueness, this particular time (being already tired and too emotionally drained to be nice) my answer was harsh and forward. I’m tired of this question. I have no good answer to it. My options are to be shallow and direct “oh, shes fine, thanks for asking.” If that’s the kind of answer you want, then don’t even ask, because I hate giving it. I hate all shallow answers to all questions. But when I give an honest answer, and use more than one sentence to explain how things are and what is new with mom, then I see people zone out and quit listening, or interrupt me with a different question. They didn’t really want to know, they are just being polite and asking because they think they should. or maybe they thought they wanted to know, but the answer makes them regret the inquiry. Don’t do that. It hurts more to see people pretend to care of give some social expectation level of caring than to not get the question. Don’t ask unless you want to know. And if you really want to know, then listen when I answer. But I’ve also learned that when the answer, on occasion as it is, turns out to be negative (maybe there is a struggle going on and I’m honest about it), then I see people regret asking again. They ask because they want some praise report or some miracle story. And when the answer is negative, they apologize for asking. They feel bad they asked and made me talk about the hard times. I’m tired of the question. I have tried and tried to formulate a one sentence answer that will satisfy those casually curious people and also suffice for the genuinely concerned. I don’t have one yet. “things continue to be tough at times, but mom keeps her faith and is inspiring to those around her, and we continue to believe for a miracle” That’s about the best I’ve come up with. And it works. But what’s going on with my family and my mom is complex and ever changing and I don’t always even know what’s going on because I’m not there and I’m not always informed. I don’t like this question.

After my (way too long) rant and stern words, my dear friend, who is obviously taken back by my words, responds with something so touching and sensitive. She says “when I ask how your mom is, what I really mean is, how is your heart in dealing with this situation?” wow. That is a totally different question. And the more I thought about it, the more I liked the question more and more. Because as we each traverse through the complicated issues and situations in life, we build / modify our theology and our relationship with the Lord changes and grows (whether closer to Him or further away). Through the process of mom’s illness, I have struggled to trust a God that would allow my mother to suffer in ways that she has. And to see my family be effected in the ways they have. And even though some prayers have been answered, others have not. Big prayers have been left unanswered to my satisfaction. And my relationship with the Lord has definitely ebbed and flowed. And my answer to this question, where is my heart, is a question I can answer. I know where my heart is with the Lord.

I chose to share this story because I think my friend hit on something brilliant. Most of us will, at some point in life, deal with a family illness or know someone who is dealing with a family illness. And instead of taking our social cues from tradition and asking “how is so-and-so.” which I know at times has its place, but we can also ask a much more meaningful question. With everything that’s going on, how is your heart with the Lord?

I know that as my mother’s illness has progressed that each of my family members has been on their own painful journey of faith with the Lord. And each of us come to our own conclusions about his goodness and faithfulness and his role in our lives. And I know for me, talking about my journey and struggle in my faith has helped me tremendously. So, if you can be that person for someone, that will allow them to talk about their heart and their faith, and let them process the events and emotions, then I encourage you to remember this question. How is your heart?

The LORD is my strength and my shield; My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart exults, And with my song I shall thank Him. Psalm 28.7

Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice, And be gracious to me and answer me. When You said, “Seek My face,” my heart said to You, “Your face, O LORD, I shall seek.”…Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD. Ps 27. 7-8, 14

Diaper Drawings

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Ecclesiastes 3.4a A time to weep and a time to laugh

We all know this verse is true, no matter what you believe. There is a time for everything. But sometimes, even when its time to cry and mourn, its also nice to laugh.

For those who don’t know me well, then you don’t know that my mother is currently in a wheelchair. She has struggled with a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis since May 2008, which has resulted in multiple trips to the ICU and hospitals over the past years. (don’t click away yet…this is a happy story!)
During one such stint, she was in a season of not being able to get out of bed which resulted in having to wear adult diapers. NOT the greatest time of her life, can we just say. It is very difficult to be an adult, fully aware and in control of your bowels, that has to pee in a diaper just because you can’t move your legs. 

I noticed the hospital diapers were all blue and had no pictures. I thought to myself, how lame. All the kids get fun diapers, with mickey mouse or cars racing around on them. why do we think the adult diapers have to be so lame?? (yes, i’m aware its a cost issue. still lame) So…I brought a package of markers to the hospital. And every time I changed mom’s diaper, I would draw a picture on it first!!! Pretty soon, the nurses wanted in on the action. They were drawing pictures too! Then the family started helping. We had a lot of artistic expressions happening. But one stands out more than others.

Some of us went for coffee and when we came back my dad has been the one to change mom’s diaper while we were gone. He had chosen, previously, not to participate in this “silly” activity, as my father is a more conservative, composed (country) gentlemen. However, for whatever reason on this day, he chose to play along. And in the utmost humorous fashion, he did what only a husband could do and get away with, he drew mom’s diaper with the male genitalia on it. Oh yes, we returned and found mom with a one eyed monster on her diaper. Really dad?!?! hahaha it was the most memorable, and humorous, of all the pictures ever drawn. And of course, this picture was mom’s all time favorite. …oh these kids, I tell ya, they crack me up!

This story illustrates how my family survived what was then, and continues to be, a difficult time. There is a time to cry and mourn. and be angry. and frustrated. but there is also a healing power to the laughter and the joy that can be created and shared in these most challenging moments. and hey, mom is no longer in diapers! Praise the Lord for little victories.

Proverbs 17.22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.

Habakkuk 3.18 Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

Philippians 4.4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 4.7-8 You have put gladness in my heart, More than when their grain and new wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For You alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety.

Gold Digger

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recently in life group, we were discussing the depth of disappointment and hope. unanswered prayers. persistent hope. frustrations and joys. then afterwards we took time to declare who God is to each of us (He is my healer, provider, Father of good gifts, my strength, etc). The Lord gave me a fun declaration that I want to share : )

I declare the Lord is a gold digger!

(i even heard the song in my head, but i like the glee version, b/c its clean….i aint sayin she’s a gold digger…)

I felt the Lord wanted to say… He likes to be around us because we are VALUABLE. And since the Holy Spirit is in me, then I already have things like the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control). So when I ask the Lord for joy, He doesn’t just “give”me joy, He reaches instead of me to pull out, to call out, to highlight, what is already inside of me. He is calling out and digging inside of me for those gold nuggets! So He can then show them to me, all shiny and glamorous, and say “hey, look what I found in you! I knew it was there, because I gave it to you long ago.”

He is so funny! And encouraging.

Galatians 5: 1, 16, 22-23 It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery….But I say, walk by the Spirit…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.