“There is no way to peace along the way of safety. For peace must be dared, it is itself the great venture and can never be safe. Peace is the opposite of security. To demand guarantees is to want to protect oneself. Peace means giving oneself completely to God’s commandment, wanting no security, but in faith and obedience laying the destiny of the nations in the hand of Almighty God, not trying to direct it for selfish purposes. Battles are won, not with weapons, but with God. They are won when the way leads to the cross.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

A quote worth much contemplation. When I ask the Lord for peace and comfort, what am I really asking for? I’m not asking for “easy” or “safe,” that is for certain. I want such deep abandon as to have the peace he speaks of, apart from security and comfort as the world sees, and be that woman who laughs at the days to come (Proverbs 31.25). I’m listening to the The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and I came to the part where the beaver is telling the children about the lion, Aslan, whom they would soon meet and Peter asks “is he safe?” The beaver replies “safe?! of course he isn’t safe! But he is good.” And I’ve been contemplating that quote as well.

How unsafe are so many of my prayers. They come from God to begin with, planted in my heart with just enough curiosity and hunger that I dare, in my own ignorance, to proclaim them back to him with great expectation. And then find myself in distraught situations time and time again, wondering why he has left me so, without realizing he has given me exactly what I asked for. Exactly what HE wanted me to have in order for me to grow and mature.

Recently I asked the Lord to be my sole source for comfort. And then I was surprised when my best friends (and the guy courting me) all pulled away and seemed distant all of the sudden. Such loneliness I felt! Such abandon! And at a time when I’m going through something weighty in my personal life for which I especially need their support. I was so confounded. Then my friend, a new and dear friend, reminded me of my own prayer. How can the Lord be my sole source of comfort if I still have other things in my life to turn to?

Is he safe? Of course he isn’t safe, but he is good. The absence of my support systems revealed my own shallow comfort found in the Lord. I thought he was enough, until he was all I had, and suddenly I felt lacking. What a lie! I am not lacking. But I felt lacking. Oh, pesky emotions, misleading me once again. Such time I have spent in prayer, contemplation, and worship. And I find a peace developing in my heart. With God’s grace, this peace I am discovering will be the type of which Bonhoeffer speaks. Can I give up my desire for security (which makes me think of “control”) and truly grasp the peace which God offers? Faith. Obedience. Selflessness. These things Bonhoeffer touts will lead to peace. Oh Lord, so let it be with me.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. – Lamentations 3.22-23