Just for fun

God + Dating is … fun

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Ever had a date end abruptly with jail time? Well, that’s how God answered my dear friends prayer…. here’s the events, as seen by me, from the sidelines …

I met my friend, whom we will call Jill, early in the summer a few years back. She was only in town for a few months with job training. But we were friends immediately and we began discussing spiritual matters during our time together. Along this time, a young man in our Christian community noticed Jill and began reaching out to spend time with her.  Jill was the … um … never been kissed type. Sweet and innocent, but fearless in many ways when it comes to experiencing the world and expressing her faith. So we discussed whether or not she should spend time with this guy, whom we will call Rick. I was nervous, because I’m very protective of the precious women in our community, but I also trust the Lord to protect and guide each of us.

So, we prayed together before she went on her first date (ever!). I asked Jill, “what are you asking God for?” and she responded, “I want the Lord to protect me and my heart.” We prayed together for the Lord to do just that: protect her. I encouraged her, blessed her, and sent her out to date!

I had dinner with her the next day…in eager anticipation for the replay of events …

“how did it go?!”

…long pause “well, his car is at my house…. and I think he is in jail, but I’m not sure”

I cannot recall the series of questions that erupted from me after that, but eventually I discovered what happened and we found poor Rick. Who was, in fact, in jail.

They had dinner. It went well, they shared a plate of some mexican food. Then he suggested they go for a walk on a track nearby. So they got in his car to drive to the track.

Then, suddenly, a police car was pulling them over. The cop did not do the normal questions about speed and insurance. No, he asked Rick to step out of the car. As soon as he did, they arrested him! Handcuffed him right there! Before walking him back to the cop car, the officer said “do you release your car to this woman?” and Rick says “sure, that’s fine.” So the officer takes Rick to the cop car, puts him in the back seat, and drives away!!

Leaving poor Jill in the passenger side. Stunned. Alone. And, after absorbing what just happened, ended up driving his car back to her house! What else was she to do? (at this point, I’m amazed she did not call me, but I was out of town and she was respecting my time. But seriously, I would have understood!!)

So I’m sitting there at dinner with her (this being a full 24 hours after the date) and I’m shocked. And she is staring at me in disbelief of what happened. And poor Jill doesn’t know what to do next! So, I call the jail and find out he is there and he had unpaid speeding tickets and they had a warrant out for his arrest (sigh of relief, it was just speeding tickets!).

At this point, I’m laughing uncontrollably. She doesn’t see the humor. “Jill, we prayed for God to protect you!” She still doesn’t see the humor. “Sweetie, God was so protective of you, that he yanked this guy out of the car and threw him in jail!” Now that’s a Fathers love right there!! She still didn’t see the humor.

She had an understandably horrible first date. She never did appreciate the irony the way I did. (I laughed all the way to jail, where we paid Mr. Rick a visit!)

But hopefully she learned that the Father’s love for his children is fierce! For both Rick and Jill! And we need to be careful what we pray for, because God may just answer it! In the most creative, funny, only-He-could-time-that-perfectly kind of way!

Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.  Song of Solomon 8:6

Here is me, and sweet J, waiting for him to join us across the glass during our jail visit:

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Luscious Locks

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now for something less theological and more fun….a story from college

So one day, I’m passing through the lobby of our college dorm and I see several handsome and popular men hanging out and playing video games on the big screen. These are friends of mine, one of which I have a small crush on. Immediately my mind begins to wonder how to get myself invited into this circle of testosterone …and I recall what my mother taught me: the way to a mans heart is through his stomach.

So I rush to my dorm room and whip up my famous cake mix cookies (any cake mix, one stick butter, 1 or 2 eggs, and voila! thick delicious cookies!). I always kept a cake mix in the cabinet in those days for such emergencies as this! What other way to demonstrate that I am a viable candidate for marriage then to share my delicious cooking? As soon as the cookies are done, I throw them on a platter and rush back to the lobby, in hopes they are still hanging out.

Quick note: at this point in my life, my hair is nice and long….that will be important in a moment

I casually come over, offer my delicious cookies, and snag a seat on the couch with the handsome (did I mention popular?) gentlemen. So far, so good! They love them! The warm out of the oven, chocolate, chewy cookies are a hit! I’m reveling in my mastery and cunning, watching them enjoy the morsels, hearing them say how nice it was for me to cook these for them…..and then….suddenly… Drew, makes an odd face.

Drew reaches into his mouth and slowly, very slowly, pulls a hair from his mouth. He must have grabbed it just right as to catch the end of the strand, because he pulled for what seemed an eternity in my memory, until one twelve inch long, chocolate covered strand of my beautiful hair was dangling from his fingers. everyone stops. we all stare at Drew. He looks at the uneaten half of his cookie, with fearful suspicion, and slowly, very slowly, returns it to the cookie platter on the coffee table. no one moves. we sit there for what felt like an eternity. an eternity of embarrassment. I’m speechless. horrified. I am just about to turn and run away… when…another guy, Josh, casually reaches over and takes the uneaten half of Drew’s cookie and plops it fearlessly into his mouth!!! He makes yummy noises and reaches for a fresh cookie. Suddenly, the other guys follow his lead, shrug off the memory of the long hair, and continue eating as before. The relief I felt was overwhelming! Josh literally saved the day!!!

Drew did not continue eating the cookies. Poor guy was too scarred, I fear, to try again. But I learned a very important lesson that day: one brave persons actions can rescue the tormented embarrassment of another persons failure. Proverbs 25.11 says A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. In my story, it was an timely action, but it was definitely an apple of gold to me! 

Well, I also decided to keep my hair pulled back when I cook. (and everyone who has ever eaten at my house quietly cheers in appreciation)

Side note: both of these men have gone on to do amazing things for the kingdom of God and I am blessed to share an alma mater with them! They are warriors for the gospel and I hope our paths cross again some day!

the squirrel and the boss

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The time the squirrel peed on my boss…

Its time for a fun story. So….back when I was working my first full time job out of college, I had a gorgeous black lab. she was on a long chain in the back yard that encompassed a tree. Well, there was an annoying squirrel that would drop acorns on the dog while she was sleeping. It was quite hilarious really. Poor Lanie would move around trying to get comfy in the shade (b/c we live in Texas!) and the squirrel would move around on the branches and drop acorns on her. Who knew squirrels could be so silly?! Oh, that was only the beginning. Apparently, the acorn dropper had a baby, which one day fell out of the tree. This day was a RAINY day and I looked out the window to see the dog with something alive in her mouth so I ran out to “save” it from her clutches and discovered it to be a baby squirrel!! This squirrel was big enough that it had all its hair (to the cute stage) but small enough it couldn’t care for itself. So I wrapped it in a towel and it eventually woke up and “attached” itself to me! When it stopped raining, I put the baby back on the tree…thinking it would run up to mommy, but no such luck. hhmmm…research time! So I found out what it could eat, how to care for it, and that it was illegal to keep it. So I found a reserve about an hour away that could take it, but I couldn’t get there for about a week, so I just kept the squirrel with me until then.

And when I say I kept the squirrel with me, I mean that the squirrel would not leave my body. It climbed up on my shoulder to perch, went everywhere with me, slept on my stomach at night, curled up in the curve of my back while I drove, ate out of my hand, went with me everywhere. I think one of the best moments was when I drove thru to get BBQ one night and the lady about fell over when I pulled up to the window with the squirrel on my shoulder, lol!

Anyway, so as life goes, I had to go to work. desk job. and so did the squirrel. And things went generally well. minor distractions. I had a little bottle from the vet I would feed it with and some peeled/diced grapes (yea, try doing that!). One day my boss came to show me something at my desk and while he was sitting in my chair the squirrel leaped onto his back. He thought it was kind of cute, for like a minute, until he started feeling something warm on his back. Oh yes, the squirrel relieved itself on the dry-cleaned finely pressed fancy shirt back of my boss!!

Yea, that was one of the best/worst days of my job!!! Overall, one of the coolest weeks ever.