Uncategorized

Is God Safe?

Standard

“There is no way to peace along the way of safety. For peace must be dared, it is itself the great venture and can never be safe. Peace is the opposite of security. To demand guarantees is to want to protect oneself. Peace means giving oneself completely to God’s commandment, wanting no security, but in faith and obedience laying the destiny of the nations in the hand of Almighty God, not trying to direct it for selfish purposes. Battles are won, not with weapons, but with God. They are won when the way leads to the cross.” – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

A quote worth much contemplation. When I ask the Lord for peace and comfort, what am I really asking for? I’m not asking for “easy” or “safe,” that is for certain. I want such deep abandon as to have the peace he speaks of, apart from security and comfort as the world sees, and be that woman who laughs at the days to come (Proverbs 31.25). I’m listening to the The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and I came to the part where the beaver is telling the children about the lion, Aslan, whom they would soon meet and Peter asks “is he safe?” The beaver replies “safe?! of course he isn’t safe! But he is good.” And I’ve been contemplating that quote as well.

How unsafe are so many of my prayers. They come from God to begin with, planted in my heart with just enough curiosity and hunger that I dare, in my own ignorance, to proclaim them back to him with great expectation. And then find myself in distraught situations time and time again, wondering why he has left me so, without realizing he has given me exactly what I asked for. Exactly what HE wanted me to have in order for me to grow and mature.

Recently I asked the Lord to be my sole source for comfort. And then I was surprised when my best friends (and the guy courting me) all pulled away and seemed distant all of the sudden. Such loneliness I felt! Such abandon! And at a time when I’m going through something weighty in my personal life for which I especially need their support. I was so confounded. Then my friend, a new and dear friend, reminded me of my own prayer. How can the Lord be my sole source of comfort if I still have other things in my life to turn to?

Is he safe? Of course he isn’t safe, but he is good. The absence of my support systems revealed my own shallow comfort found in the Lord. I thought he was enough, until he was all I had, and suddenly I felt lacking. What a lie! I am not lacking. But I felt lacking. Oh, pesky emotions, misleading me once again. Such time I have spent in prayer, contemplation, and worship. And I find a peace developing in my heart. With God’s grace, this peace I am discovering will be the type of which Bonhoeffer speaks. Can I give up my desire for security (which makes me think of “control”) and truly grasp the peace which God offers? Faith. Obedience. Selflessness. These things Bonhoeffer touts will lead to peace. Oh Lord, so let it be with me.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. – Lamentations 3.22-23

declaration, God is my hope

Standard

I want the Lord to be my SOLE source of hope in this life.How could my life change if I could realize this one truth? I wrote this declaration (or prayer), straight from scripture, to challenge myself to believe it. To absorb this truth until I can live it out.

Because of what Christ has done, I believe in God. It was God who raised him from the dead. And it was God who gave him glory. So my faith and hope are in God. 1 Peter 1.21 God lives forever! I can run to him for safety.  His powerful arms are always there to carry me. Deuteronomy 33.27 My God will meet all my needs. He will meet them in keeping with his wonderful riches that come to me because I belong to Christ Jesus. Philippians 4.19 A noble woman puts on strength and honor as if they were her clothes.  She can laugh at the days that are coming. Oh Lord, let me be like her. Proverbs 31.25 I have seen your power and your glory. Your love is better than life. I will bring glory to you with my lips. I will praise you as long as I live. Psalm 63.2-4 I will put God’s kingdom first. Do what he wants me to do. Then all of those things I need will also be given to me. I won’t worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6.33-34 I will not be afraid. I will not be put to shame anymore.  I will not be afraid of being dishonored. God made me. He is now my husband. His name is The Lord Who Rules Over All. He is the Holy One of Israel. He has set me free. He is the God of the whole earth. He will show me his loving concern. His faithful love will continue forever. Isaiah 54.4-5, 8

Diaper Drawings

Standard

Ecclesiastes 3.4a A time to weep and a time to laugh

We all know this verse is true, no matter what you believe. There is a time for everything. But sometimes, even when its time to cry and mourn, its also nice to laugh.

For those who don’t know me well, then you don’t know that my mother is currently in a wheelchair. She has struggled with a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis since May 2008, which has resulted in multiple trips to the ICU and hospitals over the past years. (don’t click away yet…this is a happy story!)
During one such stint, she was in a season of not being able to get out of bed which resulted in having to wear adult diapers. NOT the greatest time of her life, can we just say. It is very difficult to be an adult, fully aware and in control of your bowels, that has to pee in a diaper just because you can’t move your legs. 

I noticed the hospital diapers were all blue and had no pictures. I thought to myself, how lame. All the kids get fun diapers, with mickey mouse or cars racing around on them. why do we think the adult diapers have to be so lame?? (yes, i’m aware its a cost issue. still lame) So…I brought a package of markers to the hospital. And every time I changed mom’s diaper, I would draw a picture on it first!!! Pretty soon, the nurses wanted in on the action. They were drawing pictures too! Then the family started helping. We had a lot of artistic expressions happening. But one stands out more than others.

Some of us went for coffee and when we came back my dad has been the one to change mom’s diaper while we were gone. He had chosen, previously, not to participate in this “silly” activity, as my father is a more conservative, composed (country) gentlemen. However, for whatever reason on this day, he chose to play along. And in the utmost humorous fashion, he did what only a husband could do and get away with, he drew mom’s diaper with the male genitalia on it. Oh yes, we returned and found mom with a one eyed monster on her diaper. Really dad?!?! hahaha it was the most memorable, and humorous, of all the pictures ever drawn. And of course, this picture was mom’s all time favorite. …oh these kids, I tell ya, they crack me up!

This story illustrates how my family survived what was then, and continues to be, a difficult time. There is a time to cry and mourn. and be angry. and frustrated. but there is also a healing power to the laughter and the joy that can be created and shared in these most challenging moments. and hey, mom is no longer in diapers! Praise the Lord for little victories.

Proverbs 17.22 A joyful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.

Habakkuk 3.18 Yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

Philippians 4.4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 4.7-8 You have put gladness in my heart, More than when their grain and new wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For You alone, O Lord, make me to dwell in safety.

First Blog

Standard

While I can’t imagine trying to wrangle my wonderful storytelling abilities in flat words on a screen, alas, here we are. Part of what makes me great is my honesty and energy. I hope to communicate that in written word as well.

The Lord has been urging me to capture the sweet revelations he shares with me with others. He reminds me of how often He uses others to enlighten my own heart and thereby leaves me with no argument. What’s the point in arguing with Him, He’s always right anyway.

This blog is intended to serve as a witness to my own spiritual journey with lessons and experiences learned along the way. If it brings anyone a sense of familiarity, challenge, or reflection then it has more than served its purpose.

Shalom friends.