The self control you exhibit in your life as a single person will directly impact your ability to exhibit self control within your marriage someday.

Remaining faithful in marriage requires restraint, control, intention. If we live frivolously before marriage then the shift to faithfulness and monogamy will be a sharp transition.

Those who remain faithful to their spouses for life do so not because of love, but because of commitment. They choose to stay devoted. Choose to honor each other, in word and deed…and body. And oh, how sweet, is a marriage built on honor and trust and commitment (those, I hear, have the best sex!). 

So now, in my own life, I choose to honor my husband with my body BEFORE I have even met him. I do not sleep around. I don’t even mess around. Not because I am not tempted and do not have my own desires. But because I want to tell him, someday, that I chose a life of faithfulness to him over the fleeting pleasures offered today. And when I meet him, I pray God gives me the strength to honor him with my body while we date. And will sustain that grace to honor him with my body the rest of my life in marriage.

I see my time of singleness, right now, as my training ground. I am disciplining my flesh for marriage. Think of it this way…if you are 25 when you marry you have had about 10 years of “practice” and behavioral habits that you take into your marriage. What are you going to use that time for? Is there something you are doing in your life right now that you KNOW is a bad habit that you cannot take into marriage? Why not work to discipline yourself now, before marriage. Choose to be honoring to your future marriage…today.

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13.3-5, quoting Deuteronomy 31.6

The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace. Numbers 6.24-26 (Aaronic blessing)

Check out Sacred Search by Gary Thomas (which prompted the thoughts above. Gary shares it in a much more witty and straightforward way than I previously experienced. I recommend his book. If you are already married, and a woman, check out Sacred Influence.)